EVE, my EVE, why art thou engaging thrust in thy rectum.

                                        My expression when i lost my will to not play EVE.



So here i am at it again. I thought for a long time i would break my habit of playing EVE, this god forsaken cesspool of dirty unwashed beard necked virgins. Like a smoker, i tried stepping down little by little, closing account after account, i went down from 6 accounts down to 1. I was nearly there.

My "friends" had either gotten their life together, appropriately making something good out of their lives, or died from either diabetes, a heart attack or suicide. EVE is not known for being a great end-game to this gift of existence you all got after crawling out of your mothers vagina like the disappointment you where destined to be. You play EVE? Well then, my point exactly.

Since my last update, the list of shit i did in EVE is far too long to recite so i wont, its better for you to just do you own god damn homework and check out Count Austheim's killboard and what i killed and what i lost. I've been there, i've been here, but i haven't been with any of the really big alliances. Maybe they are one of them now? I don't know, i tried to have a life.

So now i ended up yet again in EVE after an old friend (Dark Motoko) Had an epiphany that his private life was too good and had to be toned down a bit, so he decided to play EVE again. And i was just about to close my last account when i heard this.

Like some fucked up spidersences my butt hole clinched up and i could sence the old feelings of being content with unwashed hair, garbage around my computer and stacks of tissues in my cardboard box labeled "Count's Sperm Holocaust"

In the beginning i was able to not log in, then i was open to get in on a few fleets, then i joined Dark's corp Wrath Of Angels and now im up to 4 active accounts again. This is probably going to go well as i have as of 30 min's ago bought a house, i'm fixing up my appartement and i have a wonderful girlfriend that deserves so much better then to be together with  this junkie that can only get his fix from listening to new players chocking up when the fleet battle begins.

Last night i had a feeling i haven't had in many years in EVE. Surviving a hot drop where we flied T1 shit fleet filled with new players that usually ponders the merits of using either a Badger or Ibis as an ECM boat with Armor And Shield tank. Knowing this; me, JonasML and Ivanitch, decided to be logi this day since we cant trust new players to keep us alive, its better for us that old sad veterans of this game try to keep the new players alive so that we can win the engagement. What we really should have done is let everyone die horribly so that all of us understand this game is nothing but a distraction to fill the black hole that you all know you have inside you. JonasML later had to log off to do Canadian stuff like fisting moose or leeching of the public healthcare or something so it was me and Ivanitch trying to keep the fleet alive while i had him bitching in my ear with his snotty English i was logi anchoring bad when he should be focusing on keeping people alive and not drinking tea and keeping his monocle from dropping into his cup.

We got hot dropped by NC. after we attacked a Navy Brutix named Bait, Dark said "Fuck it" and we killed him, a Panther and a Tengu. The last thing we needed. Now we just extended the time frame where we all collapse in the end realizing out lives are empty and pointless.

Killboard

We GTFO when they dropped an Apostle and 2 Thanatos's.

So, where this journey goes we will have to see. It will probably end up with me throwing my feces at the police screaming something about Hillary hacking my e-mail.

I too has a blog!

Its been a year or so, i havent learned numbers yet so for me it has the same meaning as time would have for a robot or meaningful relationship for an autistic person. Nobody really cares one way or another.

As i always write on this thing, i still wonder why my brain keeps wanting me to play this game. I act like im better then everyone, which i am, so maybe it isnt so much an act but proof of my excellence and prowess. This being utilized in a game i play with other fat, lonely, neck bearded loners, it does not exactly paint a favorable picture of me. And trust me, if you have ever been to Fanfest on Iceland, my description of them are more favorable then they deserve.

Its 2014, and i can tick of another year wasted on EVE, other video games, and nurturing the lonely existence of what is me. So what to do now? I dont know.

My current corp i have been more or less involved with for the last 2 years, recently left Nulli Secunda. Members got too much of the awesome life of hitting F1 and deploying drones. Tho, when we started flying our own fleets, you could see all the skills we had acquired from big fleet ops, by dying over and over again to stupid shit like frigates and pirates that barely qualifies as pilots. And our own FCs being as competent as toddler wielding a chainsaw in a day care center.

 Currently mental image of our standard RA-FL member at this time.

Tho this is what i guess we have to work with, i hope, and i use "hope" at its minimum recognition here, that we will be able to become something resembling this:

I guess by the time the members have been able to shake off the 0.0 SOV gunk and sweat off their skin, we will be able to fly something resembling a smart fleet. But i think by that time we will be drawn back into 0.0 where that alliance we join demands our full stupidity to rule our minds and to comply to their standards that is as fun as, well playing EVE.

Well,  ill end it here. I need to go cry in a corner for 15 mins before i start playing with the only people that exist in my world. those in my head, and those in EVE.

Months have passed, and in real life im neck high in bills, got 2 shitty cars that needs to be repped, i live on crappy food, and worst of all, im back to my old job and earning money again. And all this going on i naturally pay for 5 accounts, for a game i hate, but is like a drug, and drugs are good, until you wake up with ha 5 dollar hooker, and the rash around her mouth might be an indicator i might have gotten me more for my money than i asked for.

Ive shed my responsibilities in my corp and alliance, but i sometimes recruit a noob, in a manner that could be compared to this guy:

Innocence in new players is something that can be cute, but for the most part you can do almost anything with them, wich is the best part. Tho, most of the people that gets into our corp rejects my advances and proposition to do a web cam session one on one, telling them its latex thursday. A special corp event for special people. My corp mates rat me out and saves the day.

I havent been playing much lately, but my corp and players seems to become more of a team, and new leaders emerges, making me more and more the guy that nobody actually understand and does in the corp exept troll and make semi racist named characters on seperate accounts.

But in all of this im hoping to see more deviants, wich i can relate to and give virtual high fives with our hands that has this odd smell of the wonders of overweight gaming bodies.

Stay classy EVE, cause i sure hell am not.

0.0, Idiots, Corp, PvP.

3 months has passed since i last wrote anything. Still laid off, getting fatter and im discovering new smells from my body that i might categorize as alternative.

Since the last time our corp has grown from just me and Dark Motoko, to 114 members, some old farts, some new nipple suckers. Took the step from high sec once again down to the toilet we call Syndicate.
 When we got there we got some new "Friends" And some of those friends are beyond what i can describe as dumb, but ill link a picture that shows how it is to fly with them.

Stupidity came to the point that i moved to some old friends that i actually like further south in Syndicate, and that dont make me feel like im making out with a woodchipper each time i look into the intel channel.

Terrible as i am at PvP i actually enjoyed myself for the first time in months, making me think why the hell i play this game and why i have 5 accounts in this hell i can only imagine marriage is like.
Flying with great people and adding to their fleets, more or less in a negatie way, but i dont tell them that. I dont need to hate this game again just yet.

Lastly, we might be looking to revive our old alliance Vanguard, its not as much as a revival, as it is a rebuild like Frankensteins monster, put together by rotting flesh from assortet dead animals and whatever is left in the freezer. It might look like shit and smell like Deaths asshole, but that motherfucker just might walk on its own, and maby it wont shit itself while doing so.

 How that will venture, i dont know, it might go to hell, but i have no problems taking that ride, cause whatever goes down, goes fast, and fast is fun. Just strap on your stupid and enjoy the ride.

Writing stuff on the interderp makes me important.

So, after 14 months of doing what i hate the most: Living the real life, im now back to serenading my beloved friends on EVE Online. I left Stormlord Battleforce, and joined T-RET Talons, a group of some other friends that i started out EVE with. But beeing continuously harrassed by my employer "You have to work, bla bla bla, stop fondling you co-workers" and all that usual stuff, i was not able to do much there either.

So then the great day came! I recieved a letter, stating that i had been laid off. That day i experienced a new level of consciousness with my towel wich was strategicly placed on my crotch.

So i fired up MSN, and Dark Motoko, my CEO from Stormlord Battleforce told me he had started a new corp so he could war dec and be a huge dick. This sounded very appealing. And after him deflecting all my dick jokes and homoerotic advances like a shaolin monk deflecting flying Shuriken's, he agreed to let me join.

SO! Now its back to getting new members, sending them emails in the middle of the night, telling them to come to Fanfest and giving them my room number.

So look out people, im back to pvping and beeing generally awfull at whatever i do in this game.

Killings arouses me to no end!

So in the spirit of bipolar disorder, im gonna write a more happy and less "stab yourself in the eye" post.

Since my last post i have been recruiting for my alliance, and it has gone well, but looking at the amount of corps that rejected me versus the ones that said yes, then im a terrible recruiter. But im not gonna admit that and just say that those corps sucks dick right through the ass! Happy thoughts!

So anyway, last night i played for 12 hours and did little other then pvp and walk my dogs in between, and it was a great experience. Why you might think? There is something about popping another players ship, while at the same time getting a hardon that is powerfull enought to lift my computer table and throw it against the wall. It made such a ruccus that the police came to my door. But there was something about a fat dude with a stiffy screaming like a pig that made them go away.The whale had proven its sovereignty! (Me)

At any rate, i wanna give a shoutout to Brother Zoo for beeing my soulmate ingame and totally understanding the shit im spewing out.

And anyone that is annoyed by my bad english, picture yourself me thrusting my crotch in your face over and over again.

I hate blogs.

Im sitting here looking at the towel i just had my way with, and the aftermath of the mediocre high i got from it has left me in a deep depression when i realize where i am and what i do. Time for some EVE-Online? Ofcourse.

I log on and see a few of the members in my corp. They arent talking. I could give them my usual penis-slap hello, but it doesent offer me much happyness anymore as they are probably twitching in a way that shows how much they are sick of me and my alternative way of doing things. Why do i play....

Ive been in this corp for almost 2 months after trying to control a corp after been tossed around and raped from mouth to ass for about a year. When the violent rape was over, we where all tired and left our own ways. Majority went to a big bear that could keep them safe from all the butthurt (NC), while i wandered back to an former alliance of mine that was also a rape victim. I ended up as the recruiter for my corp within days and i get to push my penis thrusting agenda upon potential new members. They mostly dont join....

So why do i write all this crap? Im trying to see if it can light a new interest for me in the game.The game is currently nothing more then self-torture right now and im all out of whipped cream.